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Psychology Episode 25 November 12, 2022
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The word Simp has become one of the internet’s favourite insults, but beneath the jokes lies something deeper about human behaviour and emotional imbalance. A Simp is not just someone who cares too much. It is someone who cares without boundaries. It is the person who confuses attention with connection and affection with approval.
In today’s world of likes, messages, and digital validation, Simping has become both a symptom and a coping mechanism. It is the emotional version of handing over your self-worth just to be seen. It might look like love, but it is often loneliness disguised as loyalty.
Let us explore how a Simp is created, what personality patterns feed it, and how to recognise the warning signs before admiration turns into self-erasure.
No one wakes up and decides to become a Simp. It usually starts with a deep need to be needed. Many Simps grow up feeling unseen and learn early that love must be earned through effort, humour, or sacrifice. They become emotional overachievers, believing that if they give enough, they will finally be safe.
This pattern builds an emotional loop. If I make them happy, I will be loved. That loop never ends because approval is addictive. Each tiny sign of attention feels like proof that giving more works, even when it doesn’t.
Over time, Simping rewires the mind to chase affection instead of receiving it naturally. It is not weakness. It is survival dressed up as devotion.
Psychologically, most Simps fit the anxious-preoccupied attachment style. They crave intimacy but fear abandonment. Their empathy is powerful, but it often turns into self-sacrifice.
They are highly agreeable and low in assertiveness. They love harmony, avoid conflict, and apologise too quickly. Their kindness is genuine but lacks protection. When they meet someone emotionally unavailable, they double their effort instead of walking away.
They do not fall in love. They attach. And attachment without boundaries eventually becomes dependence.
We live in a world that praises loyalty but quietly punishes self-respect. Social media rewards overgiving. The more you comment, like, and praise, the more you are fed with tiny bursts of attention that feel like love.
That dopamine rush tricks the brain into believing that connection is happening. But attention is not intimacy. Modern culture thrives on imbalance. One person gives endlessly while the other glows from the reflection.
Simping fuels the illusion that love can be earned through effort when real connection only grows between equals.
Being with a Simp can feel flattering at first. They adore you, support you, and make you feel like the centre of their world. But over time that attention becomes heavy. It stops feeling like partnership and starts feeling like worship.
When someone’s happiness depends entirely on you, love turns into pressure. What begins as affection becomes emotional obligation. And when that bond breaks, the intensity often transforms into resentment or anger.
Behind every Simp’s loyalty hides fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of invisibility. Fear of being unworthy unless needed.
The real danger of Simping is not heartbreak. It is identity loss. When you define your worth through another person’s approval, you slowly disappear. You stop pursuing your goals, your hobbies, and your independence. You edit your opinions to please. You shrink so that someone else can shine.
This emotional shrinking causes exhaustion and quiet sadness. It builds an inner emptiness that no compliment can fill. No amount of praise can replace the peace that comes from being whole.
Recognising Simp behaviour early can save both hearts.
1. Instant intensity – They fall fast, text constantly, and become emotionally attached within days.
2. Emotional over-investment – They give endlessly without receiving much in return.
3. Selective self-respect – They forgive behaviour they would never tolerate from anyone else.
4. Fantasy projection – They fall for the idea of a person instead of who that person really is.
5. Self-erasure – They slowly abandon their own identity and orbit someone else’s life.
Each red flag whispers the same truth. When you forget yourself, you stop being loved for who you are and start being valued only for what you give.
Being a Simp is not a flaw. It is a misunderstanding of love. It is believing that giving everything guarantees connection. Real love is not surrender. It is balance.
You can be kind without losing your voice, generous without losing your power, and devoted without losing your dignity. Love should lift both people, not drain one of them dry.
If you have ever been a Simp, forgive yourself. You were trying to love with an open heart. Just remember that real connection begins where self-respect remains intact.
Again, a Simp is not someone who loves too much. It is someone who forgets to love themselves while doing it.
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These Hoes Ain’t Loyal is a raw and honest podcast about love, loyalty, passion, and betrayal. It helps you understand the psychology behind your actions and your partner’s. Each episode uncovers real reasons
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