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LifestylePsychology Episode 50 November 12, 2022
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Falling in love is not something that happens once and stays frozen in time. It is something we have to keep choosing consciously every single day. In the quiet moments, when life feels ordinary and no one is watching, that is when love is either renewed or forgotten. Love rarely disappears because people stop feeling it. It fades because they stop noticing it or nurturing it.
In long term relationships, love does not vanish in a single argument or a single season of change. We lose it gradually, in the small moments when we stop paying attention, when we stop listening, and when we stop appreciating the person standing right in front of us. Familiarity can be a kind of blindness. When we get used to someone’s presence, we begin to overlook their essence. We stop seeing the very qualities that once made us fall in love in the first place. But when you learn to notice again, to be present again, you can fall in love again, not with someone new, but with the same person who has been there all along.
I call it ACTS because love only survives when you act on it. It is not a theory. It is a habit. It is a way of showing up that breathes life into the relationship every day. This daily relationship practice can help couples reconnect, rebuild intimacy, and protect long term love from fading.
Remind yourself of what you truly admire about your partner. Not the grand gestures or achievements, but the small, almost invisible things that make them who they are. The way they laugh when they are nervous. The way they still apologise even when they do not have to. The way they make small things feel significant.
Admiration is oxygen for love. Without it, resentment slowly takes its place. Every morning, find one thing to admire about them. Say it out loud or write it down. Love grows wherever gratitude is expressed, not just felt. This simple daily habit strengthens emotional intimacy and deepens connection.
Connection is not about constant talking. It is about meaningful communication, the kind of conversations that deepen your understanding of each other. Instead of asking “How was your day?”, try asking “What moment made you feel most alive today?” or “What is something that has been on your mind that you have not said yet?”
Real connection comes from curiosity. We do not fall out of love because our partner changes. We fall out of love because we stop being curious about who they are becoming. Curiosity keeps the relationship alive because it reminds both of you that there is always more to learn about each other. Couples who stay curious stay connected.
Touch is one of the simplest and most powerful languages of love. It is not just physical. It is emotional and spiritual. A hand resting on a shoulder, a kiss on the forehead, a long hug that says, “I see you, I am here with you.”
Every touch is a small reassurance that you still belong to each other. Touch builds trust. It softens anger. It closes the distance that silence creates. Love is not maintained through words alone. It is also held together by touch that reminds you both that you are still on the same side. Physical affection is a crucial part of relationship health.
See your partner for who they are today, not just who they used to be. We all evolve. We grow, we fail, we adapt. Love does not fail because people change. It fails because we stop paying attention to those changes.
Seeing your partner means noticing their effort, their exhaustion, their quiet victories, and their attempts to grow. It means catching them being kind rather than catching them being wrong. When you truly see someone, they stop needing to shout to be heard. Feeling seen is a core human need and a major factor in relationship longevity.
If you want to fall in love again, not with someone new but with the person you already have, practice the ACTS. Admire one thing about them every morning. Connect through one meaningful question every evening. Touch in one genuine way every day. See them for who they are becoming. Love does not survive through intensity or grand gestures. It survives through small consistencies repeated with intention.
This daily routine helps couples rebuild emotional connection, strengthen trust, and prevent the slow drift that affects many long term relationships.
When you live by ACTS, you do more than strengthen your relationship. You close the gaps where temptation hides. People rarely cheat because of lust or opportunity. They cheat because of emotional hunger.
Admiration feeds the ego that might otherwise look elsewhere for validation. Connection fills the silence that outsiders try to sneak into. Touch reminds the body it already has a safe place to return to. Seeing your partner every day keeps curiosity alive so that mystery never needs to be sought elsewhere.
When both people feel seen, desired, and understood, the idea of cheating loses its power. The need to escape disappears because there is nothing to run from. The relationship itself becomes the place where you feel most alive.
Most relationships do not end because love disappears. They end because attention disappears. Love is not a feeling you fall into. It is a practice you grow into. It is a daily act of admiration, connection, touch, and awareness.
Tonight, before you go to bed, take a quiet moment. Do not scroll. Do not rush. Just look at them, really look, and ask yourself, “What did I love about you today?” If you can answer that question with honesty, you are still in love. Because love does not survive through control or fear. It survives through awareness, presence, and curiosity.
Love is never lost. It is just waiting to be noticed again.
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These Hoes Ain’t Loyal is a raw and honest podcast about love, loyalty, passion, and betrayal. It helps you understand the psychology behind your actions and your partner’s. Each episode uncovers real reasons
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